Monday, September 23, 2013

Out o' Control (Again)

My husband is about to ban me from doing tutorials.

I have given myself a burden (all of the tutorial - done comprehensively and perfectly) and a deadline (yesterday, a month ago, last year) that are both impossible to meet.

When I was in college, I was always overwhelmed with homework. My thought was always I could do so much better on this assignment if I just didn't have a deadline! And ideas? I was FULL of ideas as a student. I just didn't have time. And I was jealous of other people who had time to go out and have fun. (I secretly wondered if that was why I didn't find a spouse in college - too busy doing other things.)

Now I am out of college - TWO colleges, in fact! I even have a job - TWO jobs, in fact! Both help my family function economically and keep us out of the poorhouse.

You would think I'd finally have time, right? Well, I do, but there is a catch.

I fill that time. With work. And deadlines. And impossible goals.

Fun? What's that? Time to sit and think and wonder and imagine? THERE'S NO TIME FOR THAT, HONEY! I have made myself a taskmaster over myself and I'm not very lenient.

Here's the question -  

Why do I feel it so necessary to fill each and every moment of my time with work?

Half-remembered thoughts bubble to the surface of my mind: You only have a little time here on earth and you have to make the most of it! We only take back to Heaven what we make of ourselves here! Don't waste your time here on earth!

Hmph. If I go to Heaven, I'm sure not going to have a lot of memories of it being fun, am I? Earth life sucked.

And I did it to myself. Why? A few reasons. 1) I'm a goal-setter. I told myself I am going to make this tutorial. Once I get it in my head, it doesn't go away until it is finished. OCD? Maybe. 2) Because I've let my blog get out of control again. I'm talking to other people instead of listening to myself. I'm naturally a people-pleaser, so I REALLY want to make other people happy  (That's another one of the commandments that bubbles up in my remembrance - help others be happy!) and so many people want this information.

Unfortunately, I'm not a robot. I can work on the tutorial for a little while, but then it will suddenly overwhelm me and I want to run away from it for a time - a day? a week? several weeks? I worry about disappointing other people, but it won't get done any faster for the worrying. Probably quite the opposite.

And no one is pushing me to do it - just me. And I'm pretty sure everyone who wants the tutorial would be just fine with me taking the time I need in order to do it right. I'm the only one putting up a fuss. :)

So it will get done. I just need a bit of time to recuperate from the flurry of activity I had with it in the beginning. Perspective, that's what I need.

The nice thing is, the tutorial works. One of my proofreaders, Candie, went ahead and sent me a picture of one of her practice pieces. Here it is, with her permission:

It's going to be all right, eventually.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Second Section Ready for Proofing!

In order to avoid overwhelming my proofreaders, I am sending the tutorial out for review in sections. The first section was a simple shape - the heart I posted about last time. Today I finished up the second section where I teach how to fold a more complex shape.

Next up is the Big Kahuna - the Read book, the mother of all folded books (in my opinion).

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Sneak Peek of Free Form Shape Tutorial

I will be teaching people how to turn a simple drawing into...

... a simply beautiful folded book.

And that's just the first part. There's more!

My next goal is to get section 2 finished.

Did you know that sitting in a hard chair for two days working on a tutorial can do terrible things to your back? If I didn't have to go to work today, I might consider taking some Vicodin and laying down for a while... :)

Monday, September 2, 2013

Alas and a Lack of Tables

I have allowed myself to be talked into having no tables in my house. It is a long sad tale and not very interesting except for the fact that I think I'm a chump. To make up for this lack of flat surfaces, I have become resourceful. My bed acts as a lovely place to put a tabletop when I need both a flat surface and good light.

Anyway, here is a blurry shot of my setup of my workspace where I toiled on the fancy font tutorial all day Saturday. It actually made me a little sick to work on it for so long. I just got going and wasn't a grownup enough to make myself stop. As a consequence, my house didn't get clean and I didn't feel like I'd done anything good when I went to bed. Weird, huh? I guess it's all about balance.

Wish me luck today. My camera is having troubles now, not wanting to focus. I'm going to say that the above picture is "artful" in its blurriness.It has nothing to do with the fact that I let SAND get in the camera when we went to the beach last month. Nope. Not at all...